What True Happiness Really Is

I have heard it said, you never know what you have till is gone. I think the person who first said that was also the person, who said, enjoy the little things while you can. We so often lose ourselves in our daily chaos. We let our worries, fear, and anxieties consume us. We become so focused on where we are going, that we forget to the enjoy where we are. Sadly, before we even know it, our best years are gone and most precious moments are just memories. Every once in awhile, I stop and look at the beauty all around me. Stepping out of the continual flow of the busy life, I can than remember the simple things. I spend too much time spent worry about the problems in our world that I forget about the innocents all around me. Like catching the fireflies on a warm summers night. The masterpiece you see displayed every morning in the eastern sky. The smell, in the air, just after the thunderstorm. Experiencing the feeling, when you run through the cold, damp, grass on a summer’s night. It maybe the big things that we are known for but it’s the little things that make life worthwhile. Though I maybe to able to enjoy all these things. I think of the less fortunate. While I’m sitting on my back patio looking at the sunset cast a colorful reflection on the water and the geese who fly overhead to bed down for the night, as the sound of the crickets twilight serenade fills the air, I think about them. Its when See or hear about people who have to deal with so much, That I see how blessed I truly am. I than can see how much I have taken for granted. I realize how discontent of a person I am.

I remember once, I was in down town Lansing, I was pumping gas and judging by the freezing winds it had to be at least 15 below. Digging through the trashcan beside me was an older man. He looked around 60, his face dirty and his long shaggy hair poked out from under his tattered snow hat. His torn jeans looked as though they had not left his body in years. The worn out boots look as though he has walked a hundred miles in them, and I’m sure he had. Yet, hidden in his mangy white beard was the biggest toothless grin you ever saw. “Well hello there.” His angelic voice said to be as he passed by my car. “It’s a pretty cold night huh? I gotta stock up on paper towels.” While he spoke he grabbed a couple hand full’s of paper towels and pushed them into his dirty blue and white Detroit Tigers jacket. Reaching in his other pocket and pulled out a small portable radio. “My daughter got my an early Christmas present.” His big brown eyes shown with so much pride as he presented it to me. “Isn’t it the best radio you ever did see hun? It has both Fm and Am radio.” He continued to show me his radio, holding it like it worth millions. “Listen to how clear it is. You never heard a clearer radio did you?” We talked until I had finished pumping my gas. I got in my car and he went on his way. Sitting for a moment I watch him. I watch him go from pump to pump showing off his radio to anyone who would listen. He was so happy. He was freezing, probably hungry yet, happy. He had just been given the world. He held the world is his old callused hands. That little radio which probably cause 5 maybe 10 bucks was the most valuable thing he owned. Yet while he was content with his radio here I am sitting in my warm car, on my way to my warm house. Discontent. With all I have been given and yet I still want more. I still can only see the negative in my life. Sure his hands could get frost bit if he didn’t find some place warm for the night. Sure he would probably never have more than a couple bucks to his name, but he didn’t care. He was so happy to have a daughter to love him enough to buy him such an amazing gift as a radio. If only I could live with so much joy and contentment. So just like he was given a priceless gift that night so was I. I was given the gift of happiness. I was able to see first hand what true happiness really is.

Learning To Be Content and Patient

Learning to be content has been the thing that I have really seen I need to work majorly on. And its not just learning to be contents in certain things it is everything. There are the days where I feel very insignificant. You know, I wish I were smarter! I wish I were more athletic! I wish I were prettier! I wish I were more popular! Ect. But I need to be content and patient. In Psalm 139:14 it says,

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made….”

God never makes a mistake in what he does or makes. He made me just the way I’m suppose to be so I can fulfill perfect plan for my life. And although sometimes it’s hard to understand why God might do something or make you a certain way it for a reason and his reason was not to harm you but to prosper you. Why am I ADD or why am I dyslexic? I have no idea why and I don’t understand how either of those could help me in anyway at all. But I do know what worry and wishing will not change it. Complaining will not solve it. I need to learn to be content in every circumstance and especially to be content with who I am.

Now going back to patience. I also have been having to work on learning to be patience in waited. Valentines day was last week and I was extremely moody all week cause it just kind of was the peak of my single blues. I’m not content with not having a boy friend. Also I’m at the point in my life where I feel so very restless. I’ve finished high school and I’m ready to go be on my own make something of myself. To break free from this cage I feel is holding me captive. Like a butterfly that has just broken out of its cocoon and has dried its wings, it’s ready to fly. Yet Here I am still on the ground.

If we were to write down our entire discontentments with our lives down and than go and write down all of the blessings we have. I think we, at least for me, would begin to see how much I have to be thankful for and that I should really be content with what I already have. Than go one step farther and just look at the people around you and some of the issues they have to deal with and all of a sudden mine seen extremely insignificant and pathetic.

Enhancing My Inward Appearance.

In today society it is so very hard to not get caught up in the superficial mindset that is taught to us everywhere. We are what we wear. Our value is based on what we look like. These view are thrown at us constantly where ever we go. Now it’s not bad to want to look good and want to be pretty and actually we should take care of ourselves. But I find very often that I get caught up in enhancing my out ward appearance rather than my inward appearance. Before I can truly beautiful I must first learn that beauty is not what I look like, what I wear or how I do my hair but how I conduct myself. Are my attitudes and actions beautiful? My first priority needs to be improving my inward appearance. I need to make sure I have a beautiful personality. I Love this Quote by Elizabeth Elliot it says,

"The preoccupations of young woman (their looks, their clothes, their social life) don’t seem to change much from generation to generation. But in every generation there are a few woman who make other choices."

We have one life, one chance, to live our life. Our Life was not given to the world or to our peers but to us. Every person is unique and special. Every person gives something to our world. Each of us holds the potential to achieve remarkable thing. The woman who are known in our history books are not known because they lived like every other girl in there time. No, they are known and remembered because they did or become something original. Because the rebelled against the norm and fought for something bigger. They dug deep within themselves and found the strength to fight against the lies and limitation of society. But how can I expect to make an impact with my life if I continually choose to think and act like the superficial society around me. I need to give up my preconceived ideas of what my life should be and focus on enriching my life and enhancing my personality. My first step is to get my priorities straight so that my time is being focused on the important matters the matters that will not fleet away.

Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone

This is a very hard thing for me. I constantly am being pushed to step out and and I constantly refuse. The reason I don't try is cause I greatly fear failure. I am constantly thinking about the worst that could happen if i try that. And there is always a little voice (actually a very large voice) that tells me I'm worthless and could and never will be good at anything or do good at anything. Sadly I listen to that voice quite often and because of that I know that my life has lacked. If a baby took the attitude i have, never trying to walk because they might fall on there face, then they would never be able to experience the feeling when you run through the cold damp grass on a summers night, or be able to feel proud when they ran there hardest and scored a goal, touch down ect. although the baby might fall a couple times when they first start out, the benefits of them learning how to walk are endless. also if I over come my fears now and step out then later in life i will be able to do those things with out thinking about them. Just a adult can walk without really thinking about it. But if i never try then i will never accomplish anything. Although I may never fail i don't try, i most certainly will never succeed.

The Hospital Bench

I Sat there alone while the sky turned to grey,

I sat there along and started to pray.

While i sat there in silence my mind began to wonder,

The thoughts of fear in me grew stronger and stronger.

How will i be able to persevere through this endless fight?

How will i be able to survive through this dark lonely night?

They tell me that my case is serious, that i have no chance,

They they could have saved me if they had found it in advance.

There is nothing they can do for me, it is now far to late,

The only thing left is to now accept my fate.

As I sat on that hospital bench on that bleak November day,

I began to see hope as the Lord Showed me another way.

His way was not that of a life of suffering and enduring pain,

Nor was it a life where everyday I had to fight to Sustain.

There on that bench He showed me death should hold no fears,

That sorrow, pain and grief would no longer bring me tears.

Yet, awaiting my arrival are His loving caring hands,

His open arms awaiting to show me of his new plans.

My fate is no longer that of a life filled with fear and fright,

No, the thought of an eternity with my savior has brought a new delight.